Is it too early to reminisce?

We've only been home a few weeks and I am reminiscing about our summer vacation. It was simple. Life is rarely simple.  It was:

• Great to see family.   
• Great to watch the kids learn and explore so many new things.  Think Sid the Science Kid mashed with The Wild Kratts as a contestant on Fetch.
• Great to take a mental break from science. (Yes, I really did take a break, but don't tell my bosses.).  
• Great to do things I haven't done in a long time. I admit I had plenty of excuses to pass on tubing, but thankfully did just a little water skiing. 
• Great to reflect on the life God has blessed us with. 

Andrew and Clare with Light Sybers

Samantha had an exhausting, good time.

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Working it out...

Parenting is hard work.  David and I were given the opportunity to attend some parenting workshops given by a man, James Schleicher (yes, he had the same name as our late priest and dear friend, but he was not the same person) at Samantha's elementary school.  We attended 2 of 3 lectures.  We learned so much.  We took notes so we could talk about it later.


In his first lecture, "Raising resilient, responsible children in this age of over-stimulation",  Mr. Schleicher made so many good points. It probably wouldn't be fair to tell you about them all (look him up for counseling if you are in the area and in need).  since the lecture, we have been trying to guide the kids to solving their own problems (i.e. sibling rivalry issues). Some points in this area Mr. Schleicher made:

• separating the kids when they have conflict is the worst thing you can do- 
• make sure they both apologize or come together and say they love each other- 
• send them off to do a common task after the conflict- 
• make sure your tantrum is never worse than theirs- 
• it doesn't matter who's right or wrong, just work it out- 
• just hearing two sides to the story is not going to bring the conflict to a resolution-  
• * Bring their world to a standstill until they have fixed this problem with each other *

This takes practice.  Admittedly David is better at letting them handle it alone than I am.  But I find it amusing interesting to be in the next room listening in on their communication.


Through tears, "Samantha, I am sorry."  "AJ, I am not ready to talk to you."  "But we HAVE to work this out.  You HAVE to forgive me."  AJ stomps off frustrated.  Samantha, "AJ, you cannot leave until we work it out".  AJ, "But you won't work it out."  AJ goes and tattles.  David sends him back to Samantha. Samantha, "OK.  I forgive you. I am sorry too."  (a moment passes, I realize later AJ must have tried to hug her because...)


"Samantha (with frustration), would I do that to you if you tried to hug me?"  Samantha, "No." AJ, "Then why would you do that to me; that's not a real hug."  Samantha, "Its blowing a hug".  AJ, "But I want a real hug." Stomps off in frustration to Daddy.  Daddy sends him back, "Don't tattle, just work it out".  AJ, "Samantha, you still won't work it out.  You are making me SAD."  Samantha, "Ok. I am sorry. Forgive me." and a hug is given.

Movement to the kitchen...ok kids time to set the table together. And they did.  Its taken us 7 months, but we're giving ourselves lots to chuckle over making progress.


One reason parenting is so difficult is that we are expected to set a good example for our kids even when we aren't are far from perfect. I guess that's the beauty of it; the children will see imperfection and learn they cannot be perfect all the time either. The kids are so vocal about their conflicts. Research shows at this age children experience conflict every 7 minutes.  David can confirm this- he still has his research skills and using AJ and Samantha like little research subjects, he measured the time between their conflicts.  As adults we tend to avoid conflict.  Is that healthy?  Does that set an example of working it out?


Expect a follow up post on "Parenting in the age of entitlement" Yikes, entitlement...I cringe at the word. Do my kids feel entitled?  What does entitlement look like?  How do we prevent it?

What do you do last week?

Vacation is a time for rest sleepless nights and relaxation activity.  We redefined vacation last week.

• Lots and lots of swimming.  Both kids are swimming at least 15 feet on their own and with confidence.  AJ learned the terms cannonball and can opener and demonstrated them frequently.
• Tubing.  This sport is for the boys (Well AJ, David, and several other relatives took part, just not Samantha and I).
• Sailing (and watching sailing).  David and Brad did the sailing.  The rest of the family watched from the sandy shores while swimming in the lake. 
• Canoeing.  Good exercise on a big lake! 
• Fishing.
• Water skiing.  Wow! It had been along time.  David got fancy. I just tried to stay up!
• Games: Tripoly, Scene It, Scrabble Slam, made up water races...
• A visit to Michael Waltrips race shop (meeting MW, watching practice pit stops, sitting in the 56 car)
• Rocking and more rocking on the screened patio overlooking the beautiful cove on Lake Norman
• Soothing the cranky, sweet, teething baby
• A little shopping. I found an awesome print of a couple under an umbrella on a street corner.
• Drinking lots of water and just enough caffeine to stay awake to enjoy it all!

A huge thanks to my family and 'extended' family for making the week so memorable.  Pulling together our resources to stay at this great house was fantastic.  It was great to have extra adults around so the kids could really enjoy the pool safely even when Matthew needed to be out of the heat or napping.  My brother-in-law's cousins were so gracious to invite us to the Yacht Club for sailing and lunch on the 4th of July.  My brother-in-law's sister brought her family out and invited us for several afternoons of boating, skiing and tubing!  And it was his brother-in-law who arranged for the kids to go to the race shop where he is the personal trainer for the pit crew.  Thanks Mom, Dad, Joe, Amanda, Heather, Brad, Greg, Melissa, Sarah and David!

Pictures will be posted soon. My apologies but they are not on the home computer yet (we purchased a new one today).

Happy Father's Day!

Apparently I forgot to post this a few weeks ago....we should celebrate our fathers everyday!  I enjoyed being around mine last week!!
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*Father - A man in relation to his natural child or children.

The above definition is limiting. I don't like it. I prefer a broader definition.

"one of the leading men"

There is so much more to a man who has begotten a child; many other ways to be a father.  I pray for those fathers/Fathers in my life and the lives of my children. Its a tough job and they need strength.

From infancy into adulthood these 3 men (Fathers) touch my life, leading me. Grandpa Scott, I can still hear your voice and I think about how amazed you'd be if you saw how we take great videos with our phones! 'Lover#1'.  Father Schleicher, I know you are watching over my family and praying for us.  Thank you for interceeding for us in Heaven.  Godfather Jim, you left so quickly, yet it will only be a blink of the eye when we met again. I won't forget the love you had for our family and I pray for your family as they carry on here without you.  May your memories be eternal.

Today, I pray for my priests, my dad, my father-in-law, my grandfather, and my brother-in-laws.  When I think of these fathers and how they lead me and support our family, I realize how truly blessed I am to have so many men as role models and prayer warriors for me.I also pray for the godparents of our children.  Dan, Jesse, and Bryan have embraced our children.  Paul, our godson's father, is also like family to us loving on my children.We have been so blessed to have friends become family through our godfamilies. 

And for David. He rises up to so many challenges in his daily life.  I pray that he continues to 'father' (lead) our children to be children of God, to love with their whole heart, to pray with their whole mind, and to work for the glory of God.

I love the song "Lead me" it was written by Santus Real. It is a reflective song about how this artist has failed at times to lead his family, but he turns to God our Father for strength. Our family has been truly blessed to have been led by strong hands, by men who do look to God our Father for their strength. 

(the end of the song)
So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I am called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them

Won't you lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love
Chasing dreams that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this out home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

*Definitions are from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary (online)